Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
