You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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