god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
