That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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