Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
