I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
