I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
