Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
