You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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