You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
