i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
