oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
