She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
