Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
