TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
