And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
