I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
