As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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