I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
