Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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