Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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