Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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