I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I supernannyed him into submission
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
