Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
