He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
