Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
