At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
