do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
