its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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