For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
