Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
