Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
