I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
