all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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