Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
