don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
