He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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