Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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