Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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