I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
