who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm passing your future prison.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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