It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
