i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
