This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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