"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
