please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
