So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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