I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
