The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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