Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We were destined to go to rehab together
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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